Reality and Fantasies
by invisible0one
Summary: "I must have been slowly losing my mind. I hated to admit it to anyone, even myself, but the lines between reality and my hopeful daydreams were beginning to blur ever so slightly." What's a girl to do when the line between what's real and what's not starts to blur? (The kinda, sorta, almost sequel to "Goodbye.")


_The kinda, sorta, almost sequel to my other one-shot, Goodbye._

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**_Reality and Fantasies_**

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I must have been slowly losing my mind. I hated to admit it to anyone, even myself, but the lines between reality and my hopeful daydreams were beginning to blur ever so slightly. I'd start daydreaming and I'd have to actually consciously remind myself he wasn't here at the end. Yes, daydreams are generally meant to make you happy, but they weren't supposed to feel this real.

I've missed Danny ever since I realized he was gone to god only knows where. His phone wasn't working and I didn't have a clue were he'd gone. Tuck and I had tried to use the Boo-merang, but it just stayed there in the air, never moving, just spinning in the same spot. You know the shit has hit the fan when even that stupidly named tracking device can't find him. So where was he?

We'd searched everywhere, even raided Vlad's house multiple times, but we couldn't find the ghost boy anywhere. Even Jazz couldn't get me in contact with him.

I guess this all really started when he finally cracked under all the pressure of having the fate of the town and sometimes the world on his shoulders. I don't really know the details of what happened to him, but he did something or showed some trait that justified a trip to the mental hospital. Even Jazz couldn't help him before that point.

There was one month ages ago where he'd been back. He'd seemed like the happy, goofy, smiling self I'd grown up with. I was more than happy to see him back and I thought that we might have been headed towards a real romantic relationship. Just when I worked up the courage to tell him how I really felt though, he disappeared again.

We both kinda knew it was coming, but he never said goodbye. That stupid, clueless, idiot never came to tell me goodbye before he left.

But, I've ranted all about that before. Today, that's not my main problem. It still hurts like high Hell and then some, but I've learned to live with it.

It's the slowly blurring line between reality and my fantasies that's scaring me now. I know he's gone, so why the hell do these daydreams feel so damn real sometimes? I almost forget he's gone and when I force myself to remember that fact, it only hurts worse than it ever did before.

Sometimes, they start off with us sitting on my front lawn. Then, I'll work up the courage to tell him how I really feel, to tell him I love him.

_"D-Danny…" I trail off as I get his attention. I'm so scared, my voice is already starting to stutter on me. "I need to tell you something." It's already getting harder to look him in the eyes._

_"What is it, Sam?" His eyes are filled with worry._

_"I…" I sigh, and look down. I can't say this while looking him in the eye. "Danny...I...I love you." I barely got the words out. They were so quiet that its likely he wouldn't have heard if not for his ghost hearing. I just sit there, gaze downcast as I fight to keep my emotions in check. He's hardly had time to process what I said much less actually respond, and yet I just want to cry._

_"Sam..."He doesn't finish his thought and I look up just long enough to see him biting his lip for a second before I suddenly feel his lips on mine._

Just writing it, I can feel myself starting to get drawn back into the daydream. I'll feel my cheeks heating up and I'll be fighting the urge to respond out loud. I've noticed my feet will start to wiggle if I'm laying down. Then, I remember the harsh reality of the world. Danny isn't here. I haven't talked to him in months and the only connections I have to him are pictures, memories, and my day dreams.

The other one that drags me in takes a slightly different route.

_I answer the door as the bell rings to an almost empty house. "Yes?" I hadn't even looked at the visitor before saying something._

_"Sam?" I'd know that voice anywhere._

_"Danny!" I don't give him a chance to respond, I just pull him into a hug that he can't even try to get out of._

_I let him go after a few seconds and look him in the eye. I see a brief moment of indecision in his eyes before he closes them for a second. "Don't kill me for this," he whispers as he comes closer to me._

_He kisses me, and once I get past my initial shock, I'm gladly returning the gesture. When we part, I'm the first to speak. "You have no idea how long I've waited for that."_

I would go farther into that, but I'm already getting dragged out of reality. I can feel it happening. I know it can sometimes be a good thing to escape the real world for a few minutes, but a simple daydream shouldn't feel so real I spend several seconds trying to figure out what is real and what is not.

I'd like to believe they feel so real because Danny's having these day dreams and fantasies too, but I know better. Even if he does have feelings for me, I doubt he'd spend half his day tied up in the realm of make believe.

I'm losing my grip on reality. Sometimes, I'll come out of these fantasies making plans as if he were really here and I could at least try to make the first one come true. It isn't until I remember the small stuffed dog wrapped in my arms that he gave me and why I'm so attached to it now that I remember he's not really here.

I guess you could say I'm going crazy without him here, and there's not much I can do about it. The lines of reality and make believe are blurring, and I can't stop it myslef. I can only hope he'll come back so I won't have to pretend.

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_Ranting through pointless one-shots. I'd have probably lost my mind already without it..._

_Oh, who the hell am I kidding? I have lost my mind already..._

_Anyway, comments and feedback are as welcome as always!_

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_Invisible One_


End file.
